Injuries are one of those things we don’t like to think about. As athletes, we try to block the concept of them out of our minds because, let’s face it, we’re scared of them. When we become injured, we don’t get to compete for a period of time, and we sometimes feel lost. That feeling of facing the unknown can be a harrowing thing. That being said, it doesn’t have to be that way.

I was having a breakout lacrosse season during “fall-ball” my Junior year at NIU. Things were just sort of clicking, and I was firing on all cylinders to the point where the “flow” was real. “Flow” is what we use to describe a time in competition or even in everyday life that just feels slowed down. If you’ve ever felt like you’re “in the zone” and are ignoring the distractions around you, chances are you’re in a flow state. That’s what I began to experience at the beginning of the fall of 2018. I was starting to figure so many little things out, things that propelled my game in a direction I had never dreamed of. Those details allowed me to treat each game like a chess match by thinking a few moves ahead. I saw plays develop before they happened and was able to react at the perfect times (usually). We had a great group of guys that year, and I was excited for all we’d accomplish together. Then we played Wisconsin.

It had rained all week leading up to our game, and I had actually expressed concern about playing on grass after so much rainfall. I had been dealing with a little bit of tightness in my ankle but had been taking care of it how I was supposed to. As a result, I didn’t think anything of it. With around 2 minutes left in the whole game, I had to hustle to go chase down a guy who my other teammate had been trying to guard. This forced me to turn and do a 180 right down the other side of the field. The problem with rain and grass is that the ground gets muddy. When the ground gets muddy, your cleats tend to stick a little more. So when I turned my body, my ankle stayed in the ground. You don’t have to be a doctor to know that’s not good. 

I was given a diagnosis the was told I would need a knee scooter for the next two months. Initially, I didn’t think it was going to be so bad. Here I am with this awesome scooter I get to ride everywhere, with its red frame and black wheels- I was rolling in style. Then the first week passed by, and I was still unable to do the exercises I enjoyed most. Most importantly, I was still unable to play lacrosse. These limiting factors caused me to go from a social and funny guy to wearing my hood and having headphones on all the time. It had been the first time I suffered an injury to that magnitude, so I had no clue what to expect. I got sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself, so I talked to my Sport & Exercise Psychology professor for some help. What Dr. Jacobs told me that day blew my mind: find something else that makes you feel the same accomplishment and satisfaction as whatever it is you cannot do at that moment. It sounds so simple, but it makes sense.

As athletes, our identity is that we play a sport or compete to accomplish a common goal. When we become injured, we lose part of our identity and are no longer able to work towards that goal. For me, that meant building model airplanes. I’ve always been fascinated by military history, but never in a million years thought I’d be making models. Little did I know that when my spring season got cut short for another injury, I would be all set and good to go, all thanks to my amazing support system and those darn model airplanes. I thought it was for individuals who are 70-year old. I’ve made close to 15 model planes since I made my first one in 2018, and each is better than the last. By completing a model plane, I was able to see my hard work right before my eyes. That feeling was similar to how I felt when the team won a game, or I scored- I got to feel a level of accomplishment. Those levels of satisfaction caused me to get out of my depressive state and feel like I would be better once I was healthy again.

Sometimes it’s the little things in life. It’s the things we’d never dream of doing because they’re out of our comfort zone. When the going gets tough, we need to try and stay present and open-minded. One of the best times to learn about ourselves is when we’re put through adversity. We get to see just how resilient we really are or how much grit we actually have. At the moment it’s frightening because there are so many unknowns and that’s alright. If we had all the answers, it would be too easy. One of my favorite quotes is by Marcus Lutrell, Navy SEAL (Ret.). He says, “I can never forget that no matter how much it hurts, or how far you fall, you are never out of the fight.” We’re never really done. We have more to do, and that moment of adversity is a test. All it takes is a spark, and we can get the job done. We are all molded by adversity. Stay on the path.