Dare to Fail Greatly
Everyone’s coaching style is unique. The most successful teams are the ones whose players not only buy into the organization’s culture but continuously hold each other accountable to achieve the team’s goals. What happens when a team doesn’t work in that same dynamic? When a coach is not as connected to his/her players and is unable to get the necessary level of competitive effort out of them to win? When a coach is too controlling and doesn’t leave any room for a player to be their true self?
Put yourself in a player’s cleats for both scenarios for a moment. In the first scenario, those players who hold each other accountable respect their coaches and are more motivated to do what is asked of them. They feel like even though they might miss a play, their coaches will show them what they could have done instead. On the flip side, the second scenario might cause overly controlled players to feel unsure of themselves because their coach isn’t getting their message across effectively. One style of coaching might work better for some players, more so than others. If a coach is unable to get their players to buy in and hold each other accountable, it’s going to be hard to win games. The dynamic becomes gets disrupted because of a lack of trust, which results in a lack of motivation. (If you haven’t already, I strongly suggest you read one of my previous blogs, which touches on leadership - Ductus Exemplo - to gain another key aspect of what we’ll explore below).
A coach plays such an important role in any athlete’s life. A study showed that when coaches allowed their athletes to express more freedom in competition, the players viewed their coach as a better leader. Additionally, they worked harder for their coach(es), which is a result of feeling more motivated to compete based on not having a fear of failure. Flipping this to a coach who is much more controlling and wants everything their way because it’s “the best way,” you start to see players who experience burnout, frustration, and - you guessed it - the fear of failure.
Interestingly enough, the athletes experienced the fear of failure when their minds began to confirm that failing is a possibility. If the athlete believes that bad things will happen to them if they mess up, that fear of failure gets increased. Pair this with a coach who uses punishments after one of their players fails, and it becomes a combustible situation. While the coach might be thinking they are making sure their player learns not to make that same mistake again, the reality is that the player in question is actually more likely to flat out avoid in the future that situation that got them punished. They start to feel inadequate while competing in their sport. So now, not only is this player afraid to do something wrong because they’ll get punished for their mistake and that they think they can’t perform anymore - but they also lose motivation to try harder if thrown into the same situation later on.
If you’re someone who is interested in starting a career in coaching, I can’t wait for you to feel the reward of seeing your players improve. Not only as athletes but as human beings. Getting the privilege to experience coaching youth and collegiate level lacrosse players has been amazing for me. There’s nothing better than seeing that smile after a 6-year-old score his/her first goal or a 19-year-old finally begin to see the game in a different way. It takes patience and consistency but also involves this mutual respect. We need to understand that each player on the team is different, so we need to be cognizant of how we interact with not only players but other coaches. Nobody likes the leader who has the “my way or the highway” approach when others have a different way to achieve a goal, so why be that person?
Understanding your athletes’ personalities is one of the best things a coach can do. We’re all so unique, so we can actually use those personalities to our advantage. If you get a player who likes to talk a lot and is always getting other teammates off task, try asking them to step up and be a leader. You might give that athlete a chance no one has given them before, and they finally find a way to use their voice and leadership qualities in a more effective way.
Sometimes it’s the little things that can turn a team around. So, think about how you interact with your players and coaches. It might be the difference-maker in your season, but it will also have an even more lasting effect on your players. The outcome lies in your actions; greatness is a decision.
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy.
Moreno-Murcia, J. A., Huéscar Hernández, E., Conte Marín, L., & Nuñez, J. L. (2019). Coaches' Motivational Style and Athletes' Fear of Failure. International journal of environmental research and public health, 16(9), 1563. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16091563.